真实的韩寒 作者:石毓智

肖鹰在文中如是评价韩寒:“综合韩寒回应质疑的公开表现可证明,已年届30岁的作家韩寒,缺少合格高中毕业生应备的文史知识,缺少一个当代成熟青年应有的语言表达能力,更加缺少一个有教养的当代青年必备的社会道德观念。”句句符合事实,下面给大家提供一些例证,作为对肖鹰评价的注解。

 

一、韩寒念稿子的水准如何?

 

        在方舟子打假韩寒之前,我对韩寒几乎不了解。我就跟朋友讲,一个文化人的真假是很容易看出来的,那就是让他做一个讲座,接受大众的提问。当时我就推断,如果韩寒没有真才实学,他一定避免在公众场合讲话。果不其然,韩寒明确宣布不接受采访,不给讲座,不参加公共演说,如此等等。这个“不”,那个“不”,这跟那些半瓶子醋到处抛头露面、炫耀自己者相比,很酷,是不是?其实这是心虚,一种自我保护,怕隐情被暴露。

       但是有些报告或者讲座也许推不掉,也许出于宣传自己的目的,他还是去了。从能看到的资料看,韩寒参加过两次大的讲座,一次是香港中文大学,另一次是“嘉定区世博论坛”。韩寒香港那次讲座,还被北京某教授称之为“比全国所有教授加起来还要强”。

        现在就让大家欣赏韩寒在“嘉定区世博论坛”上发言的前几段话,题目是《城市,让生活更糟糕》:

 

         大家好,我是从来不喜欢演讲的。因为演讲这个词会让人感觉带着说服的野心。我以前参加过一些活动,都比较喜欢提问和回答,毫无准备的回答可以显示出回答者的智慧,当然,经过精心准备的问题更能够显示出提问者的愚蠢。这次其实也不能叫演讲或者讲座,因为我在念稿子,大家就当我在朗诵好了。

    这次来还有一个原因是嘉定区请我过去的两个同志在9月30其还给了我一份小礼物,说无必要赏光。你想想,在国庆的前夕,他们居然代表党和政府给我献礼,我被深深感动了。

    但是,我不能害了他们,我就决定念稿子。其实我也没有什么深刻的东西可讲的,纯粹是讲一点我的个人感受。其实我也没有什么深刻的东西可讲的,纯粹是讲点我的个人感受。

 

        韩寒这位大明星确实与众不同,不仅明确说“我在念稿子”,干脆说成“朗诵(稿子)”。一不小心说露了嘴。“朗诵”的对象一般是带有情感的文学作品,诸如诗歌、散文、小说等,没听说“朗诵讲座稿子”的。

        韩寒解释“我决定念稿子”的原因是,有两位政府的“同志”给他“献礼”,他“不能害了他们”。80后的人不知道谁还用“同志”这个称呼。更奇怪的是此处用“献礼”,它是一个书面语,通常用于很庄重的场合,比如“给国庆献礼”。此处“我不能害了他们”,应该是“我不能令他们失望”(如果尊敬人家的话)或者“我不能不给他们面子”(如果觉得自己很重要的话)。而且,此处只能说“我决定来演讲”,而不是“我决定念稿子”。“念稿子”是“演讲的方式”,只有决定接受“演讲”之后才能决定“念稿子”还是“脱稿讲”。这种语言表达上的混乱,也透露出事情的真相:韩寒只有念稿子的能力。

        韩寒念稿子的水准如何?水准就如同牛群相声里所刻画的领导报告:“同志们,冒号”。请看这句话的黑体字:

        这次来还有一个原因是嘉定区请我过去的两个同志在9月30其还给了我一份小礼物。

         嘉定区的那两位同志到韩寒家“献礼”,当然说“请你过去”,因为嘉定是在别的地方,此时只能用“过去”;然而讲座的时候,韩寒已经身在嘉定了,应该换成“过来”,原话应为“嘉定区请我过来的两位同志”。这稿子一定是在韩寒家里准备的,不管是谁写的,但是韩寒原封不动念出来,确实不寻常!这使我想起两三岁小孩的语言使用能力,因他们不会调整这些空间词语,常常出现“可爱的错误”:妈妈让小孩到爸爸这边来玩,小孩子噔噔噔跑到爸爸的房间,会说:“爸爸,爸爸,妈妈让我去你这里!”大人会觉得小孩很可爱,不知道大家觉得韩寒是否也可爱?

 

二、韩寒说死了余秋雨

 

        根据我所接受到的咨询,余秋雨先生应该健在,因为像余先生这样的人物,如果有什么大的变故,各种媒体都应该报道的。

        下面是摘自韩寒在嘉定区世博论坛演讲稿,题目为《城市,让生活更糟糕》(见《青春》109页):

 

        有一年我老家要拆迁,我说,不行,我爷爷也很着急,说,韩寒,你看,你能不能想想办法让这个房子不要拆掉,比如说弄个名人故居什么的。

    我说,爷爷,我还没有死掉呢,你当我是余秋雨啊。

    说句题外话,正好说到死掉这个话题么。我为国家也算缴纳了不少税了,我有一个梦想,我希望如果有一天我掉河里死了,相关机构可以免费打捞我的尸体。当然,我觉得可能性不大,所以我还是要把有用学好的。

 

         如果之前一个人不知道余秋雨是谁,单从这一段话推断,只能得出结论:余秋雨已经死了,而且因为他是一个名人,政府为他保留了故居。

        这段话的标点符号和语文错误很多,就留给读者了。

        韩寒的这类表达很多,不知道是缺乏知识呢,还是缺乏语言能力?

 

三、韩寒作序骂父亲

 

       韩仁均父子情深,为自己大明星的儿子写了个传记《儿子韩寒》,记录儿子成长的历程。韩寒所做的序不到一页的三分之一篇幅,下面是韩寒完整的序。

 

       我爸爸这本书其实已经出版了很多年,其实这个序应该第一版的时侯就写,但当时为了避嫌,所以没有写。在国内看来,父亲出一本书写自己的儿子,无论写的多好都是不好的。当时是上海人民出版社请父亲写这么一本书,我父亲一直很喜欢写作,写得也很好,可以说我现在写东西就是受了他影响。事隔多年以后,我觉得还是应该写这个序,因为避你妈的嫌。

        在几年前的一天里,我终仔细地翻看这本书,觉得可以为大家写下这个序。我相信看完此书的人自有公道的评价。

        是为序。                                                                                              

                                             韩寒

 

       看了这个序,给人的感觉像潘长江见了姚明:高,实在是高!

         整个序什么实质性的内容都没有说,就骂了一句韩仁均“你妈的”。为什么说韩寒是骂韩仁均的呢?因为“你妈的”通常是两个人之间对骂,“他妈的”一般是“泛骂”,所以韩寒的“你妈的”也只能理解为冲着他爸爸说的。可能因为韩仁均当初不让韩寒写序,为了避嫌,怕别人说二话,惹得韩寒不高兴。当然,还有可能是韩寒弄不清楚“你妈的”和“他妈的”的区别,误伤了他爸爸。

         大概是韩仁均不好意思再给自己儿子代笔而为自己的书写序,就放手让韩寒锻炼一下。就这短短的两段话中,韩寒犯的低级语文错误就有如下这些:

        一、“无论写的多好”中的“的”应为“得”,紧接着下面一行的“写得也很好”就用对了。一个人“的”和“地”不分,情有可原,因为它们历史上都是来自“底”,一直到近代文学中还混用。然而“得”与“的”的来源不同,功能迥异,不能混用。韩寒写的是一个白字。

        二、紧接着又是一个白字。“事隔多年以后”中的“事”应该为“时”。

        三、第一行中的两个“其实”同时出现不恰当。

        四、“我终仔细地翻看这本书书”。“终”应该改为“终于”,“看”后应该加一个“了”。

        五、“你妈的”与“是为序”的修辞风格不一致,前者过于低俗,后者过于高雅。

奇文呀,奇才呀,奇事呀,但是从编辑到读者有谁觉得“奇怪呢”!?

原文地址:http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_63af05000102v23y.html

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   我说,爷爷,我还没有死掉呢,你当我是余秋雨啊。

访客的头像

   我说,爷爷,我还没有死掉呢,你当我是余秋雨啊。

      如果之前一个人不知道余秋雨是谁,单从这一段话推断,只能得出结论:余秋雨已经死了,而且因为他是一个名人,政府为他保留了故居。

石毓智教授,看来你不知道“余秋雨故居”事件吧,你这分析会给韩粉留下口实的。别乱写了。

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