洁癖篇 也说说韩寒对文字的洁癖 作者:吕厂衣

许久没写倒韩文了,韩寒2013年博客才发布了5篇。其中一篇还是关于票房惨败电影‘一座城池‘的声明。从整个2013年的声势来说,说韩寒日渐颓势不为韩黑的夸大,连赛车也只玩拉力了,场地赛车在玩不转后中途退赛了。和2012年1月韩三篇刚发表后的这个声势比,两年来倒韩的成效还是明显的,我为自己在倒韩的努力得到现实的效果感到欣慰。所以有接近一年没有写了,不是不想写,实在是因为韩寒龟缩不出没,对着龟壳没文章好做。但是乌龟还是换气的,2014年,韩寒终于在文字上又露头了。一切起源于一个叫曾啸的记者。车神舒马赫滑雪意外受伤,这位记者有韩寒的手机,他锲而不舍的问同为车手韩寒的看法,韩寒在憋了一天后晚上用手机短信回应了,这位记者立马报导了韩寒的回应,为了表示的确有采访,还展示韩寒的原始短信手机截图。于是2014年的1月,我又有了新的韩二笑料,也给了我倒韩的动力。

让我们看看韩二这段文字吧

[舒马赫一直是我非常欣赏的车手。我是第一时间得知他受伤的消息。最早传来伤势无大碍,我就松了口气,第二天才知道那么严重。我当时就想到了徐浪和冬冬,他们都是头部受伤。非常忧虑,也担忧舒马赫就算康复了以后也会对运动有所影响,他是那么爱玩的一个人啊!

这几天几乎天天都会去看相关新闻,他是一代人的赛车记忆,也是我的偶像。有他的比赛就会相信奇迹的出现,希望他能早日康复,赢下这场对关爱他的人来说最重要的比赛。]

短短200字不到,16个句段落,几乎句句有语病,

第一句【欣赏】,欣赏一般是前辈对后辈,有成就者对新加入者的用词。当然现代社会,跨一个行业,那么你也可以欣赏其他行业比你在自己行业相对成就更高者。但是作为韩寒这么一个中国业余赛车手,真不知道他凭什么能够欣赏世界赛车冠军车神舒马赫。

第二句【第一时间得知】和第三句的【最早传来】,又是一对活宝。第一时间,是指事发在现场或者现场某人第一时间告知了,既然第一时间得知了,那么后一句的【最早传来】就是笑话了,你得知的是别人【传来】的,那么如何可以说自己是【第一时间】呢?

第七句,【他们都是头部受伤。】然后第八,九句落【非常忧虑,也担忧】。很明显第七句结尾应该用逗号,因为意犹未尽。【非常忧虑】后结尾用句号。当然标点符号算是小问题。【非常忧虑。】马上接【也担忧】就是重复的废话了。忧虑和担忧是同一个意思。连着一起用可真是非常重复,也多余啊。

第十一句【这几天几乎天天都会】,又是一个语病句,要么【几乎天天】要么【天天都会】 。【几乎天天都会】读着够拖沓啰嗦的

第十二句【他是一代人的赛车记忆】,不是人人都赛车的,这句话的正确表达应是【他是一代人对赛车运动的记忆】或者【他是我们这一代赛车人的集体记忆】。

接着第十三句【也是我的偶像】,对应第一句的【欣赏】,不禁让人长叹,韩二啊韩二,偶像是可仰慕的,可崇拜的,你拿什么来欣赏你的偶像啊。而且【也】字也用的奇怪,因为【我的偶像】和【一代人的赛车记忆】并没有转折关系。

第十四句【有他的比赛就会相信奇迹的出现】还是一句拖沓的重复口语语病严重的话。是相信奇迹的出现,还是奇迹真的出现了?【有他的比赛就会有奇迹】,【有他的比赛就会有奇迹的出现】【看他的比赛让人相信奇迹】不管怎么说,韩二这句话逻辑表达都不清

最后那句【赢下这场对关爱他的人来说最重要的比赛】更是狗屁不通,这场比赛是舒马赫对抗病魔死神的比赛,对舒马赫才是最重要的。正确写法【每个关爱他的人都希望他赢得这场和死神对抗人生最重要的比赛】,当然韩二可能觉得他这个旁观者的感受才是最重要的。

纵观整个短信,只有【希望他能早日康复】还能算句正常话,不竟让人笑道,韩二啊韩二,这可真是天才文笔啊。韩寒说他对文字可是有洁癖的,看来每个人对洁癖的理解不一样啊,韩寒那有洁癖的文字比马路上的公厕还不如。

这封短信很可能是韩寒在记者追问下,没有经过别人润笔编辑就直接回给记者的,让人看到了韩寒原生态的文字。这就是韩寒在2014年真实的文字水平。

当然,我啰嗦这么多当然不是为了咬文嚼字说明自己语文有多好。我手头刚好有【磊落】手稿(是的【光明和磊落】的销量一大半要归功于我们这种考据形韩黑)。

让我随意抽【三重门】一段。

第299页(之所以抽后面一点,因为韩二说前面是重写的,语法更成熟,所以挑后面一点,来看看高一的【韩寒】在1998,99年一笔成形的水平。)

在爱情方面,人类有一个大趋势。男人眼里的理想伴侣要像牛奶,越嫩越白越纯越好;女人眼里的理想伴侣要像奶牛,越壮越好,并且能让自己用最少的力挤出最多的奶。牛奶只有和奶牛一起才会新鲜,然而姚书琴这杯牛奶久久没有奶牛问津,逐渐演变成一杯酸奶。

钱荣果然有事没事去找姚书琴,姚书琴起先不经意,后来听说女生议论,一下没了主意,女生都羡慕得要死,嫉妒得给他出主意说钱荣这个人又独特又有才又壮实,而优点之首便是有钱,姚书琴口头上说不行,心里早已允许,于是两个人在公众场合像是英美两国的飞机,总是相伴出现。

也不说到底是韩寒的年代还是韩仁均的中学年代,英美两国飞机总是相伴出现的。就说这两百来字的两段文字,多通畅啊。读来毫不拖沓啰嗦,连接词使用得当,还有排比。几乎挑不出语病。当然我重打这段文字也不是为了表现韩寒的奶牛牛奶爱情观的。

我的终极问题是!
十五六年前韩寒能够一笔成形写下这段【爱情奶牛牛奶论】文字(注意韩寒说这是创作手稿,不是誉清稿)。那么一个十五年前写出这样文字的人,十五年来笔耕不断,然后在2014年1月写出【欣赏舒马赫】这样水平的短信。可能吗?难道一个人的文学修炼水平真的会逆生长了?注意这里不存在韩寒先写一遍有语病的【爱情奶牛牛奶论】然后自己再修改,因为韩寒自己说了,他这是创作手稿,心里想好下笔一稿成形的。这是要有极高的语文水平的。2014年,这种文字能力去哪儿了?一个200字不到的手机短信,写得这么狗屁不通?

假设一个人的文字修为真的会逆生长,我不禁要问问那些【去你家玩好吗】的作家们让2014年的韩寒这样语文水平的人作你们文字的主编,你们对你们自己的文字还有一丝尊敬吗?

2014年的倒韩就用这篇文章开始, 我说过我起码倒韩到猴年马月。 现在连马年还没到,慢慢来,不急不急。

原文出自:http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_4d8be7eb0101iv4x.html

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  • 自动将网址与电子邮件地址转变为链接。
  • 自动断行和分段。
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