免费窥韩 作者:四川一杀猪的

今天突然接到一电话,被告之因不幸中奖可获赠免费手机一部,一听到这消息,俺不怀好意地笑了。也许对方不知俺原本是个生意人,深知凡是莫名其妙的“免费”背后都多多少少隐藏着点凶险,要么是一根线、要么是一把刀,当然,其凶险程度完全取决于垂钓者的免费幅度,而危害程度又完全取决于上钩者的智商高度。所以,一直在激情澎湃地恭喜祝贺,俺满脸笑容耐心十足地分享着对方的快乐,直到其终于说到“按照程序”这几个字时,俺才果断地挂断电话,在一片忙音中,俺突然想起韩氏的免费行为,虽然今天才写了“天下真有免费的午餐?”这样一段文字,但细想之下,仍觉前文阐之未尽,俺杀猪的还有话说。

真正意义上的“韩氏免费”是从啥时候开始,俺确实不清楚,但对韩氏拿“免费”二字说事的那次俺还有点模糊的印象。似乎是因为有读者抱怨其书里全是以前在网络上发表过的文章,有“炒冷饭”之嫌。对此韩氏勃然大怒,并满怀委屈地说自己是全中国唯一一个把本可以用来出书赚钱的文字,先发表在网络上供人“免费阅读”的作家,你们不感恩戴德也就罢了,怎么能如此挑三拣四指责自己的良苦用心?

其实,如果单纯从主观层面来讲,俺非常支持韩氏对这种“忘恩负义”言行的态度,甚至觉得韩氏不仅应该大骂、痛骂,而且完全可以跳起双脚来骂。这主要是俺藏有一点私心,因为俺怕万一哪天一不小心扬名立万之后,突然想出本书来赚俩小钱买点小酒的话,重新再写肯定费时费力,远不如把自己以前发在网络各个旮旮旯旯的文字下载印刷出版上市来得省时省力。那时要是俺也遇到别人的质疑或指责,俺完全可以借韩氏杀开的这条血路高歌猛进,甚至还可以自豪地宣称“自己是全中国第二个把本可以用来出书赚钱的文字,先发表在网络上供人免费阅读的作家”,而且还可以保证有一点绝对比排名第一那位强,那就是绝不用白纸充数。想来这样不但可以成功堵住指责之口,说不定还会在一片赞颂声中名利双收。唉呀,想想俺都觉得前景一片辉煌!

但是,话又说回来,当前的俺就如同十几年前的韩氏,在既无权力又无声势更无名气,活着没多少人关注,死后也没几个默哀的情况下,谁会在乎你写了什么文字发了什么言论,能有个网站能让进去免费贴贴文字,有几个人一不小心点开文字看了后没让作者付费就很不错了,更何况,你自愿贴在网上不是给人免费阅读难道只是挂在那里风干后作过冬食粮么?倒是有些网站听说可以收费,但那也要从家看得起让你进呀?这样想来,俺倒是释然了,也不知道韩氏想明白没有?要不,俺再说得直白点,也就是你不先在网上免费让人阅读甚至付费雇人吹捧,哪来什么名气?你没有名气支撑跑去出书有个屁用,就算公厕缺纸怕也轮不上用你的书?所以,从这个角度来看,俺倒认为那次读者还算比较理智骂得不重,因为那些“冷饭”至少还没掺糠变质,不像后来又整的什么〈光明磊落〉一样,不但错字连篇,而且白页成堆,就连俺看了也觉着你韩氏太过份了,即使你只卖10元也不应该往里面掺泥沙呀?硌着嘴了还不允许人家骂娘么?据说最近又要搞什么〈所有人问所有人〉,俺想提醒韩氏这次要作好被读者深度问候的准备,因为啥?因为这次你们掺的已经不是硌嘴的糠壳泥沙,而是很恶心的口水,据说还是广泛收集并储藏已久的存货。

写到这里,俺突然想起一句老话:便宜无好货,何况是免费的东西。所以,俺真心建议韩氏不但别再指望用“免费”来收买人心,而且应该趁着金融危机刚过、特别是全现今中国很多人被钱多烧得发慌的势头大幅度提价,狠捞一笔,至于他们回家发现出了高价却买了假货后是如何暴跳如雷,大可不必担忧,反正你们一直走的是青春路线,大不了先躲避几年后,再盯着他们的儿孙玩命忽悠!

2013.7.26

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