【萌文重温】一个小学生致韩寒的信 -- 小猫1026 2012/3/4

一个小学生致韩寒的信

作者:小猫1026 2012/3/4

http://www.tianya.cn/publicforum/content/free/1/2411430.shtml回复 1楼只看此人屏蔽此人


韩寒大哥:

我叫二蛋,今年九岁,家住北京省石河子县石河子小区二组,目前在北京省石河子村石河子小学读三年级,自从前年春节在网上读到你的光辉事迹之后,就让我新潮久久难以平静,借用我妈妈最爱唱的红歌来形容你,“你是灯塔照耀了黎明前的海港,你是舵手掌握着前进的方向。”

我之前是一个学习特别刻苦的孩子,上课认真听讲,也认真完成老师布置的作业,小学一年级的时候,我期末考了个双百分,还被学校评为校级三好学生,人人都夸我,爸爸妈妈一提起我就高兴得合不拢嘴,说我将来是当科学家,要不就是当文学家的料。但是自从那次在网上看了你的光辉事迹后,我就不爱上课了,也坚决不听老师在课堂上讲的那些里格朗了,因为我立志要向你学习,长大要成为文学家,当赛车手,可以天天泡妞,大把花钱,一个小妞发一个银行卡,一年之内就可以得挣到1700多万的报酬,这多牛呀!所以我天天上课都写小说,连体育课也不去上,和几个因身体有情况(啥情况俺也不知道)的女同学一起,窝在教室里写小说,你问我写的啥么?我写的东西可多了,有玩雪仗的故事,我一定要把他们打输,有四重门,五重门,六重门,七重门,你才写到三重门,老子比你小,现在都写到七八重门了,牛B吧?我还学你的方法,二年级之后,更加病态,没日没夜地看《二十四史》,看《法的精神》看《管锥篇》,虽然再过几年,我就会和你一样,写一篇《马桶窥人》而获得某个作文比赛的一等奖,并进而扬名天下,成为一个真正的文学家思想家,然而因为我上课不听讲,自二年级之后,我就门门功课不及格了,爸爸妈妈爷爷奶奶姥姥姥爷班主任老师科任老师都着急得不得了,我爸爸还天天追打我,但这些人其实都懂个屁,分数算个B,老师算个B,爸爸妈妈爷爷奶奶姥姥姥算个B,谁也别装B,等老子的七八重门,八九重门一出版,这些家伙就知道我的厉害了,正如你在您的文学名著中所说的:“玩雪仗的时候,我一直输掉,以后,我一定要把他们打输,让他们尝尝我的厉害!”这些屁东西其实是啥也不懂的,都是些脑残,废物,13点250!

我通过没日没夜地研读《二十四史》,看《法的精神》看《管锥篇》《庄子》《老子》《孟子》《孔子》《文选》孟德斯鸠达尔文霍金艾克卡巴尔扎克屠格列夫托尔斯泰乞乞可夫高老头欧也妮葛朗台卡夫卡以及姚文元在延安文艺整风会议上的讲话,我发现了一个硬道理:在中国,还是白卷英雄吃得开!

初,我姥爷(长得有点像毕姥爷)曾经对我说过张铁生的故事,这家伙与大哥一样,也是个白卷英雄,靠一张白卷打遍天下无敌手,后来官至省部级,现在还是亿万富翁,白卷啥不好?白卷可以当官,白卷可以成为亿万富翁,可以和你一样开赛车,泡大妞!爱一个人你就对他说:孩子,你交白卷吧,恨一个人!你就对他说:孩子,你要好好学习,门门功课都争取满分,将来考上清华北大哥伦比亚。我的那些老师姥爷姥姥之类的人太没文化,一直在干骗人和恨人的勾当,真特么脑残,靠!你是八零后的意见领袖,将来我就2千年后的意见领袖,青年的楷模,社会的公鸡,我这个白卷英雄将来如果实现了这个理想,我就要和你一样开赛车,泡大妞,一个一个银行卡(内有几十百把万的现金),小妞们领完了卡,还是不散,我就对她们:“不多了,我已经不多了,不多不多,多乎哉,不多也!”小妞们便一哄而散了,到时候,说不定她们就会来找你这个韩爷爷,韩楷模的。

最近有几个坏家伙老是跑到网上来说咱韩哥哥的坏话,比如有韩哥哥平时常说的方秃子之类的东东,好在全国人民的眼睛是雪亮的,有易种田路金猪马日啦范冰冰姚晨阿姨等名士高人力挺你,方秃子等人的阴谋是不会得逞的。

太阳最红,韩哥最亲,感谢韩哥哥为我们指明了前进的方向,我要号召全国的小盆友都来向韩哥哥学习,在中国掀起一个争当白卷英雄的高潮,争取人人都来当白卷英雄,这样在不久的将来,咱中国人人都能够成为文学家思想家了,没有一个老外敢和我们较劲,白卷英雄万岁,汉子大哥万岁,万万岁!

祝您:心情愉快,心想事成!

二蛋

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  • 自动将网址与电子邮件地址转变为链接。
  • 自动断行和分段。