“别笑,我们是公知!” ---- 作者:刘继兴

公知是公共知识分子(The Public Intellectual)的缩略词,在中国社会的实践中,“公知”一词更是对那些貌似公正博学,实则摇摆不定,自视甚高,以天下评判为已任,视政府和百姓问题多多,自认担纲启蒙责任,诲人不倦的一群文化人,喜欢扮演“国师”和“策士”以及“青年导师”的角色。公知自以为在启蒙,但总是以无知虚伪以及双重标准而贻笑大方。而草根日渐自我觉醒,经常抽时间教育公知。在网络和微博中,“公知”早已成了贬义词。下面的这一组笑话,有利于大家了解公知是何方神圣。

△失意青年轻生,站在桥头欲跳。过来一个公知,说:社会逼人死,我微博实录转发以声援你。又来了个老大爷问其故,青年回答被女友甩了,现在自己只想让生命在桥底找到归宿。老大爷说:这个很简单,你从旁边小路走下去,一样可以到达桥底的呢。青年笑了,不死了。公知大叫:多好的素材被这个老五毛给毁了。

△一公知吃鸡,刚要动手饕餮,突然悲从中来,于是肃立餐案旁,痛致悼词曰:“鸡有五德之才,难免一刀之灾,暂吃吾肚之内,算作一副棺材,呜呼哀哉!”转首对屋外喊:“夫人,再捣瓣蒜来!”

△公知对几个草根说:我对你们的爱,简直无法用语言来表达。草根们异口同声地回答:那你就用你饭后的演讲收入来表达吧!公知:这个这个,我觉得还是用语言表达比较好……

△一位公知写诗思路打不开,于是去寻找灵感,忽然远远看见一块牌子掩映在树林里,上书四个大字特别醒目“阳光不锈”,公知当场呆住:这是多么有寓意的词语,绝对不是一般人能够想到的。于是,他非常想拜访一下书写这个精辟词语的高人。等他走近这块牌子,发现被树丛挡住的那部分牌子写着“钢制品厂”。

△一农民使杂草丛生的荒地瓜果累累。某公知看后赞叹:“上帝肯定为这片土地祝福过。”又说:“上帝和你在这片土地上竟取得了这么大的成绩呀”。农民说:“我真希望你能看到过去上帝独自管理这片土地时,这里什么模样。”

△一文人在农村诗兴大发:“哇,绿油油的稻田望不到边……”。随后感慨:还是有选票的地方空气好!旁边有位老农说:一看你就是公知。此文人喜不自禁:你是如何看出来的?老农回答:依据有二。1、你赞美的稻田其实是韭菜地,符合公知没常识的原理;2、农村普选贿选成风,又符合公知其实最不懂民主的原理。

△船上坐着一位公知。公知问船夫:“你懂民主吗?”船夫说:“不懂。”“你的生命价值失去1/3。”公知说。 “那你懂人权吗?” “更不懂。”“那你的生命失去了1/2。”突然一个巨浪把船打翻了,公知掉到了河里。船夫问: “你会游泳吗?”公知喊到:“不会。”船夫说:“那你的生命价值就失去了全部。”

△乡村休闲游很火。有一个公知到乡下去玩,正玩高兴的时候,忽听一农民喊:“哎,说你呢,你踩到麦子了。”那公知瞟了农民一眼说:“没文化,这叫踏青。”农民大怒,一脚把此公知踹到河里说:“他奶奶的,这还叫踏浪呢!”

△收音机传来主持人美眉的甜美声音:“性是个好东西,很多人都喜欢。”一个公知立马两眼放光,竖起耳朵,还道貌岸然地对旁边的人说:“这个社会肿么啦,如此堕落呀。”听着听着,公知一脸的失望。这时主持人美眉又说:“谈完了杏,我们再来说一说桃子……”

来源:http://blog.sina.com.cn/s/blog_48d1c5ff0102dzp8.html

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访客的头像

所谓术业有专攻,不明白怎么就会有公知这词的,公知,无所不知?你上帝,老天爷啊?呸!

访客的头像

现在还在挺韩公知们,好好学习,尤其是,在结果与下场方面。

访客的头像

再加一条。有些事情,比如车辆年检,政府立法要求年检,有公知喊政府管的太多,侵犯民众私人权利;可是,如果政府真的不管,公知们又会说政府不作为,没有尽到监管职责。总之,对那些公知们,政府怎么做都是错。不过呢,他们往往认为M国政府怎么做都对。公知们对对错没有标准,只有立场。

一笑欣然的头像

△一公知吃鸡,刚要动手饕餮,突然悲从中来,于是肃立餐案旁,痛致悼词曰:“鸡有五德之才,难免一刀之灾,暂吃吾肚之内,算作一副棺材,呜呼哀哉!”转首对屋外喊:“夫人,再捣瓣蒜来!”

:mrgreen:

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