代韩寒十问。 作者:大兵小剑

尊敬的瑞典皇家科学院,瑞典文学院各位诺贝尔委员会委员,我们谨代表中国第一天才向你们提十个问题,希望你们能够给我们一个满意的答复。

一问:我们韩寒是中国的文学史,我们的文学史都没有获奖,莫言凭什么获奖?莫言怎么能骑到文学史的头上?
 
 
二问:我们韩寒至今还活着吧,而且活得非常的好,开着赛车,中国车手冠军是囊中之物,女友,前女友和妻子友好相处,一家和和睦睦,父子好得跟一个人似的。请问,你们忽视韩寒,难道你们当他不存在了吗?
 
 
三问:韩寒是美国《时代》周刊全球百位最具影响力人物的入选人选,难道是假的不成?全世界的人都投票选择了韩寒,难道你们瑞典皇家科学院是一个设在火星上的机构?
 
 
四问:韩寒被中国最有影响力的媒体南方报系评为公民韩寒,领秀韩寒,难道说我们韩寒是浪得虚名的吗?你们让南方系情何以堪。
 
 
五问:韩寒被中国公知捧为公知中的公知,当代鲁迅,莫言敢称自己为当代鲁迅吗?你们怎敢把当代鲁迅不当回事呢?你们当中国的公知都在放屁吗?
 
 
六问:韩寒说过,钱钟书之后,他不是第一,就是第二,莫言根本排不上号,你们文学院是以什么标准来选人的?是中国的标准?还是你们西方人的标准?
 
 
七问:韩寒是自由,民主的化身,是中国的意见领袖,这本来是你们喜欢的不二人选,这次为什么反其道而行之,选一个老实的莫言?
 
 
八问:新浪博客里韩寒的点击率达伍亿之多,而莫言的点击率才区区柒拾多万(当前数),韩寒一个逗号都不止这个数。这是天地之差啊,你们评奖难道就不考虑民意的吗?
 
 
九问:现在韩寒被成千上万的人质疑,韩寒成为争议人物的老大,在文学史上,作家本来都是最具有争议性的人物,争议越大,其影响力就越大,难道韩寒的影响力没有超过莫言吗?难道你们也认为质疑派不是在构陷?
 
 
十问:你们文学院诺贝尔委员会有没有收钱?方舟子给了你们多少钱?你们这样故意为难韩寒,难道我们韩寒就给不起这些钱?你们也太小瞧人了吧?
 
 
以上十问是我们中国人先礼后兵的做法,如果得不到回答,我们将采取进一步的措施,我们一致决定在猴年马月,去国际法庭告你们去!
 
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第十一条:如果不回答,韩寒将会用骂白桦的话骂瑞典皇家科学院

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第十一条:如果不回答,韩寒将会用骂白桦的话骂瑞典皇家科学院“屁”是骂文坛的,您别自作多情,以为您就是文坛。 “逼”是生殖器,但“装逼”的意思不是假装自己是个生殖器,您别断章取义。我说的是装逼的逼而不是你妈逼的逼。 “我操”是我在操,和你没关系。 “牛逼”并不是牛的逼,不相信您不知道。

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