《啼血杜鹃致韩少书》

口述:啼血杜鹃   执笔:Henry · Hunter

亲爱的韩少:

岁月静好,你也挺好么!

最近难得上镜看到你,偶惊鸿一瞥,发觉与一年前相比,你憔悴了很多。这使我想起了奥巴马,有人特意将奥巴马任前与现在的照片做了对比,现在看起来苍老了将近十岁。结论就是,美国总统宝座催人老。你也是啊,2012,世界末日说烟消云散,可是,这一年,对你来说,哪天不是末日传说?你比小奥辛苦多了。

龙年难大吉,韩的国人都知道。好在龙年也就剩下十来天了,眼见蛇年将至,上帝保佑,你总可以喘口气了。 冬天就快过去了,春天还会远吗? 天气渐渐暖和了,你不用总学大眼靓仔阿鹏戴口罩了,把它摘下来,说说话吧,牙总是白的,你不说话,我怎么看得见那一抹靓丽的白?

韩少,还记得一年多前的那次见面么?你说过,我是你的女人,你要保护我的,当时,我好感动。可是,这一年,你自顾不暇,疲于招架,我见犹怜啊。我真想化身穆桂英穿越到今朝,披挂上阵,美人救天才。 我不信穆桂英斗不过方BOAT,可惜我找不到时光隧道的入口,只好整天拿着爱疯四在转悠。 顺便提一下,听说你上次背了一麻袋爱疯五送人,怎么忘了我? 我一直想着把我的爱疯四升个级,可是,因为买了太多你的杂的文,现在囊中太羞涩。

韩少,你说过:“我会一一讨回来的。” 还记得吗? 时不我待,年关就要到了,你若真心要讨,赶紧啊。 你要明白,方BOAT腿长,今天跑美国,明天去以色列,后天就到了越南。万一他下一次踏上韩的国,耗在那里不走了,你还怎么讨?

你当初说过要去普陀寺(金山寺)对阵方BOAT的,为什么迟迟没有动静呢? 你虽然有效身高只有166,但你自己也说过,你是运动员啊。方BOAT虽然个儿大,但身上看起来都是根根排骨,如果把你们俩关进笼子里,我一定会赌你赢。 你是不是被他打的那套太极拳给吓着了?别怕,那玩意儿是虚的,在技击中派不了用场。

可能你还是有所顾忌,因为你是天才、偶像,打架不是你的强项,也有伤斯文。那么,拿起你的笔杆子啊!用你的如椽之笔,水来土掩、兵来将挡,我不信你PK不了方BOAT。 你是否有难言之隐,难以一写了之?

唉,人生能有几回搏? “自信人生二百年 会当击水三千里。” 你是韩少啊!你又不是那个大眼靓仔。大龙将去,小龙将至,你不会一直这么憋着吧?在韩叔叔的影子里,在那森森的灰色幕布后,抱着那跟你差不多高的笔 —— 沉思? 你是怕死,还是贪生?

韩少,我的韩英雄,你因笔而成名,也因笔而致富。还记得你当年参加新概念作文大赛的飒爽英姿吗?拿起你的笔吧,带笔从戎,跳上二十一世纪新新概念作文大赛的角斗场,谁质疑你,你就和谁去战斗。 我一定到场边做你的啦啦宝贝,虽然大嘴、冰冰、蕾蕾都现在都把你当韩大避之唯恐不及,但我杜鹃一定会挺你到啼血。

别没事老开你那斯巴鲁车在跑道上兜圈了,圈里人玩,没人把那当回事的,别说顶尖,顶“奸”都算不上。自古美人配才子,你看,2012给方BOAT这么一搅和,美人们都跑了,剩下的都是黄脸婆了,你的银行卡也没有路老师当初说的那么多了吧?

2012,你和方BOAT这一架,其实也没那么玄乎,核心不就是“代笔之争”么?解铃还须系铃人,那如椽之笔还在你怀里么? 《晋书·王珣传》 :“珣梦人以大笔如椽与之。既觉,语人曰:‘此当有大手笔事。’俄而帝崩,哀册、谥议,皆珣所草。”珣少和你很像耶,韩少,都啥时候了,英雄,端架子不是这个时候啊,出来走两步,把笔扛起来给质疑你的人看看,这案子不就结了吗?

你若修炼了这一年,依然扛不起笔,我和韩叔叔的日子都不好过啊,杜鹃啼血猿哀鸣……

期待英雄雄起!

               礼
                    
    啼血杜鹃

                      2013-1-23

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