方韩大战始末(二十三) 独步天下的“两字创作法” 作者:安芃

我等着码这一节,已经等了很久了。

 

我知道我码这一节会很欢乐,而您读这一节也会很欢乐。

 

2012125日,韩寒发布博文《〈光明和磊落〉——我的手稿集》,预告将于41日出版自己的手稿集《光荣和磊落》。从这一天开始,人们就怀着盼星星,盼月亮,只盼深山出太阳的热切心情期盼着能够看到天才的手稿集。

 

两个月的时间,实在太长了,大家都等得很辛苦。

 

不过,这一次韩寒没有食言,201241日,韩寒手稿集《光荣和磊落》正式出版。

 

韩寒在手稿集出版以前曾经发布博文说:“看着手稿真欢乐”。他的手稿集的确也没有辜负大众的期望,手稿集出版以后,毫无疑问,也给成千上万的网友带来了巨大的欢乐。

 

到底是天才的手稿集,韩寒的手稿集出版以后,网友们很快就从中发现了大堆大堆的不同寻常的东西。

 

手稿集出版一个星期以后,201248日,网友scientificlaw根据其他网友的发现和他自己的分析,在新浪博客发布博文,总结出了前无古人,后无来者,举世无双,独步天下的韩氏“两字创作法”。

 

 

scientificlaw博文《韩寒抄写的习惯之一:两个字两个字地抄,完全没理解所抄的内容》

 

当日,方舟子在自己的博客内转载了这篇博文,遂使韩氏“两字创作法”一日暴红,天下闻名。

 

介绍韩氏“两字创作法”会很欢乐,但也让我很踌躇,我不知道应该以什么样的方式来描述网友scientificlaw的最新发现。他的这篇博文太油菜了,我实在是一个字也不舍得漏掉。但全文照抄好象也不合适,那样显得的我太懒,太不上心。

 

想来想去,决定还是象以前一样,我用自己的语言转述其博文的内容。不过我有言在先,我不想掠人之美,贪人之功,下面与“两字创作法”有关的内容全部来自scientificlaw的博文,我这里只是转述。

 

好了,闲话少说,言归正传,现在开始披露韩氏“两字创作法”。

 

首先,说说韩寒“手稿”中改正错字的三种基本方式。

 

 

 

 

我们这里讨论的韩寒“手稿”中的错误,都是第三种改错方式。

 

一个人写作,肯定是一句一句地写,写作上的错误反映在手稿当中也很容易识别。

 

但韩寒手稿中出现的错误显然不是写作错误,而是抄写中的错误,因为韩寒抄稿,还不是一句一句地抄,而是两个字两个字地抄,加上他的不学无术,这才在其所谓“手稿”中留下许多让人啼笑皆非愚蠢低级的抄写错误。下面举几个例子说明。

 

例一:“曹聚但是谁?”

 

曹聚但?我没有听说过,肯定你也没有,估计世界上没人知道这个曹聚但是谁。

 

这个名字只是最初出现在韩寒的“手稿”中。

 

 

韩寒“手稿”:“曹聚但是谁?”

 

对照《三重门》第一版:“曹聚仁是谁?我呸!不及老子一根汗毛!”

 

韩寒最初愣把“曹聚仁”整成“曹聚但”,而且整完还没有意识到,后来才发现的。

 

从这个错误我们可以看出:第一,这绝对不是个写作错误,而是个抄写错误。如果是自己写作,您告诉我,有多大可能会将“曹聚仁”写作“曹聚但”?即使一刹那 脑子短路,鬼使神差让你写成“曹聚但”,你也应该能马上意识到,按照第一种改错方式改在“但”后面的空格中,而不是写完全句以后才发现。第二,韩寒肯定不 知道曹聚仁,如果知道,即使抄写,也很难将“曹聚仁”抄成“曹聚但”。

 

那么韩寒怎么就会把“曹聚仁”抄成“曹聚但”了呢?

 

因为韩寒抄写是两个字两个字地抄,先看“曹聚”两个字,抄下来,再看“仁是”两个字,看成了“但是”(手写的“仁”和“但”长得还挺象,韩少虽然学养很差,也知道“仁是”说不通,但他还知道“但是”)于是抄成了“曹聚但是谁?”

 

我觉得以韩少万事不过脑的个性,他抄完后未必肯回过头去认真检查一遍。即使回过头去检查,以其不知曹聚仁的学养水平,也未必能检查得出来。我以为不见得是他自己发现了这个错误,极有可能是他的文字监护人--比如韩老爹--最后替他把文字关的时候才发现了这个错误。

 

接着看例子。

 

例二:“苦人说了”

 

 

韩寒“手稿”:“苦人说了”

 

《三重门》第一版:“暧!不对!古人说了,一寸光阴一寸金”

 

韩少先抄“不对”两个字,接着看“古人”两个字,看成了“苦人”,于是抄成“苦人”,接着再抄“说了”两个字。后来才发现不对,赶紧改吧,竟然又改错一次,一个“古”字,就改了两会。

 

例三:“破着头发催”

 

 

韩寒“手稿”:“破着头发催”

 

《三重门》第一版:“只好再硬着头皮催,领导拍脑门而起”

 

自己写作的人,谁会把“硬着头皮”写成“破着头发”?即使是抄,一般人要错成这样也有很高的难度。只有韩少,运用“两字创作法”,闷着头两字两字地抄,而且从不动脑子。

 

韩少先抄“只好”两字,接着把“再硬”抄成“再破”(手写的“硬”和“破”的确长得太象了),接着往下抄“着头”,继续抄“皮催”时,想当然习惯性地把“皮”写成“发”,于是这句“硬着头皮催”就被韩少抄成了世上罕见的“破着头发催”。

 

万事不过脑子的韩少可能抄完就打游戏去了,他的文字监护人发现了这个错误,让他改正,可打游戏打得正嗨的韩少心不在焉地没听明白,只改了个“破”字,漏掉了后面那个“发”字,于是,这句话的终稿最后依旧赫然是“硬着头发催”。

 

例四:“耶路撒冷大朝拜访发生”

 

 

韩寒“手稿”:“耶路撒冷大朝拜访发生”

 

《三重门》第一版:“正塞得像麦加大朝拜时发生拥踏悲剧的清真寺门口”

 

出版时“耶路撒冷”改成了“麦加”,但不影响我们的分析。韩少在抄完“耶路撒冷”后,先抄“大朝”,接着抄“拜时”看成“拜访”(手写的“拜时”和“拜 访”还是蛮象的),继续抄“发生”,继续抄,继续抄,抄完回头一看,发现狗屁不通,这才涂掉“访”字,在上方写下“时”字。

 

例五:“四两拔干片”

 

 

韩寒“手稿”:“四两拔干片”

 

《三重门》出版稿就不列了,只要是懂中文的人都知道。

 

将“四两拨千斤”抄成“四两拔干片”(五个字一举错了仨,错误率高达60%),这种千年难遇的奇葩事件,本应该是相声里才有的桥段,却硬生生地被韩少变成了现实,这恐怕是韩氏“两字创作法”迄今以来取得的最伟大的成就,也是韩少的“手稿”带给网友们的最大的欢乐。当然,同时也是韩寒的所谓“手稿”实为抄稿的无法抵赖的铁证。

 

试想,天底下有哪一个自己写作的作家会把“四两拨千斤”写成“四两拔干片”?

 

同样地,韩少抄这句时,也是先抄“四两”,再抄“拨千”时,因为字形太相似,错抄成了“拔干”,再抄“片”并打了逗号。最早也是在打了逗号之后,韩少才反 应过来,最后那个字好象不是“片”,而是“斤”,于是涂掉然后在上方改正,而前面的“拔干”两个字居然都没有看出来,依旧留在终稿当中,成了“四两拔干 斤”,真是天才的“作家”啊。

 

从此以后,“四两拔干片”基本上就成了韩少在网上的外号了。

 

博文作者最后指出:“我想说的是:天底下没有一个作家是两个字两个字创作的。除了韩寒。”

 

韩少“手稿”中低级的抄写错误还远不止此,我下面再举几个例子。

 

 

 

 

我还可以继续往下列举,但我想这些已经够了,就在这里打住。

 

“手稿”集出版以后,韩寒还会“看着手稿真欢乐”吗?我相信应该不会了,这时候他恐怕不会很欢乐,只会恼怒,沮丧,憋屈,还有哭都哭不出来的悲摧。

 

“手稿”集出版以前,韩寒曾声言出版这个手稿集只是为了自证,赔本赚吆喝。“手稿”集出版之后,韩家赔本没赔本我不知道,但吆喝肯定是没有赚到,赚到的是嘲讽,奚落,鄙夷,外加一顶扎实得不能再扎实的半文盲的帽子。

 

用这部“手稿”集来自证作家?呵呵,想得出来。

 

这是哪个混帐王八蛋想的出版“手稿”集这么个馊主意?这时的韩少,估计连杀人的心都有。

 

(待续)

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看韩傻的抄稿和视频作稿中的出错与手抄稿出错是完全不同的

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看韩傻的抄稿和视频作稿中的出错与手抄稿出错是完全不同的。然而韩二是抄别人的稿,没看内容,又不知道某些词句的意思,只顾抄字,所以明显看出是抄写错误,而不是创作中的错误。

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